WHIPPED
by oh.black.stars
Summary: Retarded drabble from the one and only Puck. "Damn Mike and his Asian ninja skills" Rated for language.


**A/N: I'm sorry for not updating my two other stories, College has been a bitch. I'm sorry. When I reached 40 reviews for NDWAC, I WILL UPDATE. 1000+ hits and only 33 reviews? C'mon guys. HAHA. I'm such a bitch of an author. **

**A/N2: I hope you enjoy this drabble. :) I'm inlove with Harry Shum and Mark Salling. :3  
**

**A/N3: You can contact me guys for anything at oh (dot) black (dot) stars (dot) (at) gmail (dot) com **

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the plot and the lines. And the little Noah Puckerman inside my head that lulls me to sleep. Him, yeah, that I own.

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**WHIPPED**

_a Puckerberry drabble_

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I, Noah "Puck" Puckerman, am not whipped by bat-shit crazy Rachel Barbara Berry. I repeat, I am NOT-and never will be- a pansy for Rachel Berry.

But everyone (read: Chang) thinks so. _(I don't give a flying fuck about it either)_

You see, Ber—Rachel and me, have been going out for 4 months, 25 days, 8 hours, 35 minutes, 3 seconds…4 seconds…5 seconds-okay you know what I mean, right? Hey, not that I'm counting, it's just that Berry keeps reminding me how long it has been. (Not that she mentions the days, hours, minutes and seconds, that's for a bad-ass boyfr-… stud-friend like me to count. I'm serious)

ANYWAY, after the day at the bleachers where she broke up with me, I was miserable. Jew-fro even made a poll if I looked shit the next days after the 'Break-up' let's just say he wasn't in class for two weeks because he _'walked into a wall'_

_(But for the record, I did look like shit)_

Then Babygate happened, and this fucking word is just too gay, what is it? It's Beyonce's fault? Heh, figures. Of course everyone thought Berry and Finn would go ride to the sunset and never come back. _Come, heh, Finn._ But they never did, well technically they did but Finn's way a fed up motherfucker to appreciate the awesome that is Rachel. (Don't tell her that, I'll throw you into a dumpster. I fucking swear)

Then come Jesse "Gayer-than-Hummel" St. James, and he's just another motherfucker who's only better than me for knowing every Broadway show possible. That's it. He doesn't even have the guns Rachel love so much. And he too never step foot into WMHS so far for _'walking into a wall and said wall collapsed on him' __(For that, he do have some awesome acting skills)_ Hey! He broke_ my_ girl's heart, he deserved those few broken ribs… and a broken nose…dislocated shoulder… I'm scaring you now, don't I? What? Yes? Good.

And so Jesse was out of the picture and Beth-my darling daughter- was born.

"Man, are you crying?" Chang said throwing me a French fry.

"The fuck dude, there's something in my eye" (No really, there's just something in my eye)

"Whatever you say dude, whatever you say" said Chang, and he gave me this smirk that says _I know you're lying but I'll make you believe I believe you. Mwahahaha. _It creeps me out man, and I'm a freaking bad-ass. It's like a ninja talent he has. Damn Asian Ninja skills.

So yeah, I and the Gleeks are here in the cafeteria minus Rachel. Can you believe my girl is now a Cheerio? No? I'm going to tear you to shreds. What? You believe now? Good. So yeah, Rachel is now in the Cheerios table. Well it's a Tuesday, so she's in the Cheerios table, and tomorrow she's with the Gleeks. My baby is in-demand and now well-sought out. A lot of the boys have the injuries to prove it.

_(I'm not over-protective, I swear)_

"Hey, Puck, Stone is staring at Rachel" Matt whispered. I felt my blood boil. I looked across the cafeteria to the Hockey Team's table and indeed saw Noah _(I know, the name bothers me too)_ Stone staring intently at _my_ Rachel. That douche.

_(Okay so maybe I'm a_ little_ overprotective)_

I was about to stand up when I heard a resounding slap. When I took a double take I saw Stone clutching his left cheek and Rachel standing before him-head held high- and going on 300 words per minute.

"You do know I am happily committed, right?" Rachel's voice boomed.

He nodded.

"Then why are you hitting on me?"

"I did not hit on you"

"You_ fucking _did," deadpanned Rachel. I felt a stir at the lower region of my body. And I had to use the comedy that is the Gleeks mouths wide open in hearing Rachel curse, to calm little Puckerman. Major turn on. _(Shut up little Puckerman, calm down)_

"Hey Stone," I said. He turned to look at me slowly, slowly but bravely.

"'Sup Puckerman," he casually said.

"You just got slapped by my girlfriend and you tell me 'Sup?"

Silence.

"If you don't want a trip to the hospital because of _walking into a wall,_ I suggest you leave my girlfriend alone," as everyone else snickered, Stone's bravado cowered.

"Shit, Puck, I thought she was like you other girlfriends," he countered.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" Santana shouted.

"Uhh… I…" he ran. Poor guy.

Rachel blew me a kiss. I reached up. _(No, I did not just catch that kiss; I was waving off a fly. Seriously)_

"Dude what does 'ostentatious' mean?" said Finn, he was doing some vocabulary assignment for literature.

"Vulgar display of wealth," I said, nonchalantly. Finn muttered his thanks.

I looked up to see Mike smirking that awful knowing smirk of his.

"What?" I asked him, annoyed.

"She's rubbing off on you," he said in a sing-song voice.

"She doesn't"

"She do"

"Does," I said, automatically correcting him. Oh my God, he's right. But he doesn't have to know that does he? Damn Mike and his Asian skills.

He smirked.

"Whatever dude," I said, trying to act cool. But failed-horribly failed.

Hey, I lo-LIKE Berry, but I'm not whipped. What? I am? You want me to throw you into the dumpsters? Don't answer that. Rachel would be mad.

**Oh shit- I AM whipped.**

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_Did you like this? Although it sucked, I love this. I don't know why, I just do. I don't mean any statement that seems racist. _

_I enjoy writing Puck. Freedom.  
_

_hahahaha. -stars._


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